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I hate to get into fights, I hate to yell. I don't like how it makes me feel. Why do we have to fight and yell? When you get into fights you say thing you don't mean and in the end you feel bad. And as a girl I tent to cry. Ashley got into a fight will me and her boyfriend at the samethime. The fight was big and bad I wanted to stop, but she kept going. I yelled my head off. We both cryed. She say this is the way thing are " We need to talk things out". Her way of talking is yelling. She felt better and I felt like shit. This was last summer and it still makes me feel bad. I love her, but now I don't like her most of the time. We were like sister. Last summer when she left town for a long time I was sad that I wouldn't get to see her. Now she is moving and I am not sad at all. I kinda happy to see her go. I love her and always will and I know that this is what she wants, so I am happy for her too.

I wake up, I go back to sleep. I sleep till noon and I took two nap today. I am still tired. I will go to bed soon, sleep till noon and still be tired.

I have to pack and clean my droom room. I need to be out by today. (Oh, shit!) I have done noting and I'm still doing nothing. This is bad. I can't tell if I am lazy or just done care. I think I will go with both. I have been sitting front of my computer listing to music and looking at stuff on the web. Nothing is on TV, so I keep playing my own TV shows in my head. You would think that would be a better way to watch TV, but damn it all to hell I still get suck with all the billshit of normal TV. Life is what you make it and right now my life sucks. It is my way of saying life is like a box of chocolates and everyone gets stuck in your teeth. I should go and pack all my shit up. My life is messy and so is my room.

I am sick. I was sick this weekend and I had to go to this thing. Yeah, ok talk about boring. Do you have any idea what it is like to be sick and being bored it like. :( Sure you do. I would have given any to be a sleep. And not only was it long and boring, I had a two hour car ride back. And had a hard time falling asleep in the car. I went because Ashley wanted me to, but truth I think she could have cared less. And not only did I have to go to this thing for her I have to go to a party for her. This party is in New Jersey that is more like an 8 hour drive. The party on a Sun., we will be living on Sat. not coming home untill Mon. I hate traveling with them, they don't get me. I like being alone, I need my me time. And I am going to be traped with them. I love my fam., but come on. And I have to go to some boring party with Ashely's mom's fam., who I do not know. And I will have nothing to do, but talk to my brother or mother. My poor brother he will have to talk to Ashley's brothers. And something is wrong with them. So, yeah good thing that not for sometime now, I wouldn't be sick. When the time rolls around I will be wishing I was sick so maybe just meybe I can stay home.

I keep forgetting to take my meds. And now I have to go tell a doctor why its now working. UUMMMMMM? I feel sick all the time and can even eat. How am I going to take a pill? What if the old meds. are working and thay put me on new ones that do work as well? Ohwell